So, I’ve always been super tall, I think I popped out at 5’11 and maybe grew to 6’0 when I hit puberty. I have always been a bigger kid, not fat, just bigger, and I was always self conscious about it. Ive played basketball and volleyball since I was in 2nd grade. In high school when we had to get our sports physical to play, my weight was 190 and i was so embarrassed. At that time I thought i was HUGE and i wasnt in the least but i saw myself as a big girl. Im so mad at myself now for letting myself think that way and get so upset about it when I really wasnt that big. and i was healthy, thats the important thing. After my sophomore year ended and my junior year was about to being i decided not to go out for volleyball because i didnt look good in the spandex or tight shirts. i was too self conscious about the uniform to play the sport i love. (dumb) after volleyball season ended i was prepared for basketball, after much consideration i decided not to try out for basketball either. Im not sure why other than i just didnt want to exercise anymore and i was embarrassed of our team (we were pretty horrible) i was still eating as if i was an athlete and probably gained about 30 pounds by christmas of my junior year, but i hadnt noticed a big change. I broke my foot that December as well and was on crutches for 4 months. after that, my self confidence was shot and i gained another 50 ish pounds, still hadnt realized it. at the end of my junior year when we were taking pictures and such i realized how big i truely was and stepped back on a scale. 290. After being super depressed about being fat and not being able to fit into my clothes, i cut off my friends and hit a high of 330. Once i realized something needed to changed i started attending a weight loss clinic that prescribed meds to you to lose weight. i got down to about 260 by december of my senior year and was feeling fantastic, i still was bigger than i wanted to be but i loved shopping again and life again. Problem was, i didnt exercise at all when i was attending this doctor, after i discontinued seeing her due to a move to college i gained back about 40 pounds. On top of that insert crappy dorm food and unhealthy fast food runs. +20. Get put on deprovera, another 30 pounds and congratulations tessa. you are back at 330. The funny thing is, i dont think i look as big as i did the last time i was this big. i notice it especially in my clothes now but i dont feel different.i hit my low this semester, started hanging with the wrong group and got into some wrong things, i lost myself and my beliefs.Basically Im at the point where i am very unhappy, i cant fit into clothes, i just want to sit in my room all day. Im ready to change my life and get my life back on track and thats why ive started this blog. I have decided to move home and start focusing on me and getting healthy the, well, healthy way. This blog is mostly for me and if it inspires you also, GREAT! I will be recording my meals, thoughts, workouts, etc. Feel free to comment and leave feedback.